Monday, October 15, 2012

Talkin' 'bout the birds and the bees.

When I was growing up, my mom never talked to me about sex. I learned about my body, sex, etc. from other sources. Friends, school classes, and just accidental (like I'd deduce XYZ and friend would say, "No, that's not how it happens..."). I felt like sex was something to be ashamed of, and it was very, very confusing when I was in my first relationship at 16, because I was both curious and clueless.

I swore many, many years ago that I would do things differently with my daughter. That I would be open, honest, and provide her with whatever information was necessary to help her to understand her body and how it worked, the act of sex and its consequences, etc. I've been plotting such discussions in my head for years.

I've been ready, now, for a while... but I've been waiting for Bebe to ask first. Even when I was pregnant with Dois or after I had him, she didn't seem to have any questions. That did surprise me. Well, today on the way home we got to talking about something and finally, the question came:

"Mommy, how does a baby get inside a Mommy's tummy?"

We were almost home and I knew when I got inside that Dois would be begging for dinner and things would be chaotic, so I told her, "That's a great question and I want to answer it, but I want to take the time to talk to you girl-to-girl, so let's talk more after Dois goes to bed."

Once Dois went to bed, she and I started playing Legos and talking. I *think* I did OK. I confused her once or twice but we talked through what was confusing.

I hope I did okay. I never had anyone model for me appropriate ways to talk to your kids about sex, so I'm seriously flying by the seat of my pants.

The good thing is, I left the door opened. I told her if she ever had any questions, if she ever heard a word or something she didn't know about or understand, or if she heard kids talking about something and it didn't make sense, she could talk to me.

I hope she believes it, because she can.

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