Wednesday, August 15, 2012

"Me time"

Tuesday nights are special. They're "me time" nights.

What is a "me time" night, you ask?

Well, once upon a time when it was just D, Bebe, and I, we were living a chaotic life. (OK who am I kidding, we STILL live a chaotic life!!) D was working full-time (3 lunch shifts, 4 dinner shifts/week) and going to school full-time (12 credit hours). I was with Bebe all day/night (I had jobs where I could bring her with me). When D got home, I wanted A BREAK. The problem was, when D got home, HE wanted A BREAK. I wanted a break from Bebe, he wanted a break from having to be "on"... and it resulted in a lot of arguments. Not our best moments, for sure. He would go out for coffee after a night shift and I'd be jealous and resentful. "Oh I wish I could just go out for a coffee and relax when I wanted to." (Despite the fact that I don't drink coffee.) But the moments when I "got out", my phone would ring constantly, or I'd come home to D in a growling mess because he wanted to read the newspaper or watch a soccer game but Bebe was whining and wouldn't let him.

Finally, somewhere along the way, we got smart. Sadly, it was like 3 years into this lifestyle before we did so. With D being gone all day (by then he'd moved on to going to university full-time) and working 4 night shifts/week, I recognized that he needed a break--"me time" to do whatever he wanted. And by that time I was working full-time at a new job and Bebe was in daycare... and he realized that I needed some "me time" besides being at work all day long and then being with Bebe all night (who still stayed up until 10 or 11pm).

So we assigned "me time." On Tuesday night, I get a "night off." On Thursday night, he gets a "night off." On our nights off, we have NO obligations whatsoever--just time to relax and do as we please. A typical Thursday night for D is either going to play a pick-up game of soccer and hit the gym or choir rehearsal at church followed by a trip to the bookstore.

My "me time"? Well, that's another story...

See, when I have "me time" I don't really DO anything specific. There was a time when I took an 8-week writing class. But usually, I do think that are just easier to do sans-kids. Like grocery shop. Occasionally I go see a movie at the $3 theater that I wanted to see. Many nights, though, I find myself wandering aimlessly.

I feel like there are so many times where I'm like, "If only I could go away and do XYZ!" and then when my "night off" comes around I can't think of a thing to do. And then I find myself wandering around Target, and we all know how that goes... Haha.

So if you had 3-5 hours to yourself, what would YOU do?

(And I am curious--what do others think about this concept/arrangement? It means that we only have Sat days and Sunday all day together as a family instead of Tues and Thurs nights plus Sat days and Sunday.)


  1. I love this idea. We may do something similar when I go back to work in September. Hmmm...when I leave it's always to go to Target, and I wander in a sleep-deprived fog trying to remember why I'm there!

  2. We kind of have this now... Chris works Sun-Thurs and I work Mon-Fri. Our day off when the other is working is our "free day." So for him, Friday; for me, Sunday. Yet, for some reason, he seems to have fun or does chores for his hobbies on those days, while I end up doing laundry, cooking, cleaning, whatever. It's not that he's telling me I have to, I Kind of like how you end up in Target. I think it's because those things are at the forefront of my mind, whereas he'll see that the floor needs to be vacuumed, but "it's not that bad, it can wait!" We also have hours where we're alone in the house--three days a week, Chris works 9-5, the other two days he works 11-7. I work whenever, lol. So I don't see him as much as I used to, but I can use his late nights to run errands, make nicer dinners, catch up on chores so that the weekends aren't too busy. He uses his late mornings to do yard work or errands.

    Since Saturday is our only full day together, we try to spend it together, but things come up--the weather will be great for fishing, so I'll tell him to go; my mom will want me to go with her somewhere, so he'll tell me to go. Lately, we've been hanging around at home, getting things done, then going to liturgy at 5pm, followed by dinner out. By the time we get home, it's 8pm and he needs to be up at 7 for work at 9, so we end up just watching TV or hanging out. We are boring, sadly, lol.

    1. By "whenever" I mean that I have flex time, so most of the time I try to be in by 7:30/8 and be home by 5. I also work out with a trainer 3x/week so if I have a 5 or 5:30 session, I'm home by 6:30 or 7 at the latest and can still see my husband for a few hours before bed.


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