Wednesday, August 29, 2012

Transition times and burnout.

I'm not good with transition. I never have been, and I never will be.

Years ago, transitions would throw me into the most insane downward spirals. It would come on fast and furious. I never even had the chance to say to myself, "This is a transition time, you always struggle with them." Moving from home to college and from college to home always got me. I'd spend the first two weeks entrenched in a deep depression. Changes in jobs, changes in majors, ANYTHING that's a transition just affects me... in ways that I STILL don't understand.

I'm still not good with transitions, although I think it's safe to say that they no longer affect me as acutely as they did. Nonetheless, I feel like there are SO many transitions going on in my life all at once, and it makes me feel like I'm drowning. The school year is about to start up (so our daily routine will change), I've got a lot more work at work as I used to (instead of seeing a product twice, maybe three times if major changes were made, I am now seeing it FIVE times, if not six), D has decided to try taking one Master's class on campus... although it's on his "night off" he will still have homework, and he will still be stressed by his lack of "me time" which I know will affect our family (but there's no talking him out of it), D and I both have a lot of uncertainty with regards to our jobs in the next few months...

When I am faced with transition now, I don't spiral downward, but I do tend to shut down. The mantra in my head says, "This is too hard, this is too much, I can't do it." Over, and over, and over again.

This time, I've got prayer. And I hope my prayers help get me through it... I'm hoping I can find SOME sort of comfort in them.

For now, though, I'm peeling away anything that makes life more complicated... and that means this blog, and Twitter, and Facebook, and other groups I am a part of. I find it amusing that every time I get my blog/Twitter "going", something happens that pulls me away from it. Maybe social media guru/blogger just isn't what God has planned for me... I don't know.

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