Dear Head and Heart, PLEASE get on the same page!

I posted about a month ago about how confused I was feeling regarding Dois' daycare situation. I decided to "sit on it" and observe the situation (since he was in no immediate danger), think about it/pray about it... We didn't want to rush into anything, and we still don't want to.

D and I were scheduled to see two preschool programs this Thursday afternoon. I say "were" because about an hour ago, D found out he has a mandatory meeting on Thursday afternoon, so our plans have changed. We proposed visiting on Friday afternoon instead, but that doesn't work for one of the two programs. Perhaps this is a sign?

But here's the thing: even without seeing the other places, I'm still feeling so very confused. Case in point: Yesterday when I picked Dois up, I snuck into the backyard quietly and experienced such a sweet moment. Dois and one of his daycare providers were sitting side-by-side singing songs and doing the motions to them. It was such a "connection" moment--it really touched my heart. Witnessing that made my head scream, "See! THIS is what you want for your child! Look at the attention! Look at the love and the care!" Then came this morning, when I dropped him off. I commented to his providers how in the car this morning he was babbling and then all of the sudden he would interrupt himself with a, "Shhhh!" I thought it was so cute. They said the reason why he does that is because they Shh! him sometimes (which is fine to me), and that now HE does it to other kids who are talking when they're watching TV because "we tell him that if someone's talking, we can't hear the TV." (This is not fine to me.)

Finding a daycare that fit all of our needs was incredibly hard. We asked about TV and they told us sometimes they turned it on during afternoon snack as the day was winding down, which we were OK with. But lately we've been catching wind of more TV usage than that. They currently care for 6 children and they are 2 adult women--I just can not fathom why they need the TV on at all besides to give themselves "a break." At a center, though, they wouldn't do that... but at a center, he also wouldn't get the individual attention we desperately want.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. My head and my heart aren't on the same page at all. :(