Transition times and burnout.

I'm not good with transition. I never have been, and I never will be.

Years ago, transitions would throw me into the most insane downward spirals. It would come on fast and furious. I never even had the chance to say to myself, "This is a transition time, you always struggle with them." Moving from home to college and from college to home always got me. I'd spend the first two weeks entrenched in a deep depression. Changes in jobs, changes in majors, ANYTHING that's a transition just affects me... in ways that I STILL don't understand.

I'm still not good with transitions, although I think it's safe to say that they no longer affect me as acutely as they did. Nonetheless, I feel like there are SO many transitions going on in my life all at once, and it makes me feel like I'm drowning. The school year is about to start up (so our daily routine will change), I've got a lot more work at work as I used to (instead of seeing a product twice, maybe three times if major changes were made, I am now seeing it FIVE times, if not six), D has decided to try taking one Master's class on campus... although it's on his "night off" he will still have homework, and he will still be stressed by his lack of "me time" which I know will affect our family (but there's no talking him out of it), D and I both have a lot of uncertainty with regards to our jobs in the next few months...

When I am faced with transition now, I don't spiral downward, but I do tend to shut down. The mantra in my head says, "This is too hard, this is too much, I can't do it." Over, and over, and over again.

This time, I've got prayer. And I hope my prayers help get me through it... I'm hoping I can find SOME sort of comfort in them.

For now, though, I'm peeling away anything that makes life more complicated... and that means this blog, and Twitter, and Facebook, and other groups I am a part of. I find it amusing that every time I get my blog/Twitter "going", something happens that pulls me away from it. Maybe social media guru/blogger just isn't what God has planned for me... I don't know.

Sometimes God's plans seem so blurry.

I should warn those of you reading that I am going to be spewing all sorts of randomness in this post, and undoubtedly (since I'm just starting out) am going to touch on some issues that I haven't yet had the chance to elaborate on in my blog. Proceed with caution....

When life gets tough, I like to hold on to the thought that "God has a plan." I know that I don't always know what it is when it's happening, but I know it's there. There are two very important times in my past when I struggled A LOT to try to understand what God's plans for me were... but it wasn't until months later that I was able to look back and say, "Hey, now I get it!" Until then, I just had to follow what FELT right to me.

D and I are standing at a crossroads in a lot of different aspects of life. It's very confusing, and very frustrating... and also very frightening too.

We are looking at our life ahead of us, and there are some things that seem so incredibly daunting. This life that we are currently living (with D working a full-time job and a part-time job) and me working full-time has no immediate end in sight. We can not live on just our day job incomes in our current location. He won't be able to drop his part-time job until Dois gets to Kindergarten in 2016, and our monthly expenses for childcare go down greatly. We could survive on just D's two-job salary, but the end goal is not for me to work less, but to get him to a point where he doesn't have to work two jobs. We also feel very differently about having more children--I would love to have another one, but he feels we're maxed out at two. As much as I would love more, I look at our current predicament and realize that another child would mean D would have to work 2 jobs well past 2016. And it already feels exhausting... because we've been doing this for almost 9 years now... we want an end in sight.

D hoped to go to grad school in an effort to get a better-paying job in the university system. The blessing of working for the university is that he can go to school for free! Being an international student, though, his grades are not stellar. We found out today that he didn't get into the graduate program we hoped he would (because it's entirely online) because they counted two music classes he took after graduation but then had to drop (due to getting a new job), lowering his GPA to below their acceptable average. He WAS accepted into another Master's program, but it's not entirely online--he would need to take 1/2 his courses in person. Meaning, he'd be working FT, working PT, and going to school PT. And what would take 2-3 years to finish could take up to 5.

Add into all this uncertainty that BOTH of our jobs are very vulnerable right now (my company is not doing well, has had layoffs, and is saying November will tell if we will survive in 2013; D works for the state university system and there have been constant budget cuts with another possible one appearing on the November ballot)... and it just feels like too much. It feels too overwhelming.

We're trying desperately to figure out how to break out of this system... because our family suffers from it. We're working so hard to better our lives but at what cost?

Pray for us. Because all I know how to do right now is to pray for insight and peace.

What do athiests tell their children?

Saturday night, Bebe had a friend sleep over at our house for the first time. What a milestone for her (and for me, who put up with them until they finally crashed after midnight)!

Her friend who came over is our neighbor, and I know that her family doesn't attend church at all. During dinner, we were talking about how she would be going home before we went to Mass the next morning. The friend says, "Oh well, at least you go to a Catholic church. My friend Sissy took me to her church. I think it's called the Morgan [Mormon] church? They were so strict there. I didn't like it. We don't go to church. I don't really believe in that God stuff and I don't really care to figure it out, either. I believe in Big Foot, and unicorns, and fairies, and mermaids... that kind of stuff."

I giggled at this comment, but later when my brain was on rapid-fire while the girls watched a movie and fought sleep, I started thinking. I know for a fact that this child and her family celebrate Easter and Christmas. As kids get older and they talk (don't they always?), the children of unchurched families will learn that to some people Christmas is the celebration of Jesus' birth, and Easter is the celebration of Jesus' resurrection. But--here's where I'm stumped--what will their parents tell them when they ask why Santa comes on the day Christians celebrate the birth of Christ, and why the Easter Bunny comes on the day that Christians celebrate the resurrection? I mean, if there's no connection, then why doesn't Santa come on New Year's Eve, or Hannukah, or some other random day that's not December 25th? And why doesn't the Easter Bunny come on a different day as well?

I haven't stopped wondering about that all weekend...

7 Quick Takes--Reader's Choice!

Thank you, as always, to ConversionDiary for hosting 7 Quick Takes!!

Welcome to a very special edition of 7 Quick Takes, which I have decided to dub "Reader's Choice"!

My friend, Kate, at The Imperfect Catholic and I have been e-mailing back and forth about life as a blogger. We're both fairly new to the blog scene and have been discussing the challenges posed with putting yourself "out there" in plain view. I blog because I WANT to bring a message to the world. The problem is, I'm not always sure WHAT that message is. And I'm not always sure HOW to deliver it.

So today's special edition of Quick Takes is an attempt to build my blog, and to get some input from my readers on what THEY want to hear more about in the life of a "Whatever Works" Mom. Please take the time to comment after and let me know which of the 7 you'd love to hear more about! So, here goes nothing...

~~1~~

Yesterday I participated in a poll with a group of moms I belong to and have "known" (online) for almost two years. It was about the work-life situation at home. (You know, are you a SAHM or a WOHM or a WAHM... how many hours? Is one of you a student? Does your husband WOH, SAH, etc.) I had to create a special category for myself. Out of the almost 100 women who participated, I was the only one who works full-time and has a spouse who works full-time AND part-time. I got a few comments such as, "That makes me exhausted just thinking about it!" Yeah, me, too. But it's how life has always been for us, since day 1 of our marriage (well, sort of--I worked only PT until Bebe was 2). Would you like to hear more about how daily life in such a busy household works?

~~2~~

I'm just emerging from over a week of "food burnout." As I've mentioned in passing, I deal with A LOT of food allergies. (All the Top-8 allergens, plus random ones like squash and green beans, plus I can not eat any raw fruits or vegetables except olives [but are olives even a vegetable?].) Food burnout is pretty common for me and happens every few months. I just wind up eating the same things over and over again, and then I get bored and need to challenge myself to make/try new things (or start making "old" things again). Would you be interested in hearing more about life with so many food allergies, and the answer to the often-asked question, "So, what do you eat??"

~~3~~

I seem to have a mission in life. I mentioned it above when I explained why I started this blog. My mission in life seems to be to use my own life as an example so that others feel as if they're not alone. When I became a youth minister, it was because I wanted youth to feel like just because they were lost and confused, it didn't mean they were bad and faithless. I did that because I had been lost and confused, and I had come out of the darkness. I've participated in a lot of outreach experiences, and I've blogged in the past, all with the same thought in mind: If just ONE person came across my blog, or ONE person interacted with me, and walked away saying, "Hey, I'm not alone," then my mission is accomplished. Because so many times along the way I have felt alone. Would you like to hear more about my "mission"?

~~4~~

During my senior year of college, I was recruited by my hometown parish to run a weekend Confirmation retreat for 10th and 11th graders. I was so excited that I actually CREATED a retreat from scratch, based on Stephen Curtis Chapman's song "The Great Adventure." During the course of the weekend we created maps to document our faith journey. Last night I was thinking about what my "map" would look like today. Would you like to see the map of my faith journey and learn what got me here today?

~~5~~

Besides in my description of D, I don't know if I have mentioned this much, but D is not an American. He is a full-blooded Italian, born and raised in Brazil. I don't think I realized when we were dating, engaged, or even as newlyweds, how that would influence our lives even to the present day. There are challenges that come with being married to someone whose experiences are rooted in something so deeply different than yours, and there are also wonderful blessings that come with an expanded worldview. Would you like to know more about how D and I met, and all of the beauty (and challenges) that have come from being married to a foreigner?

~~6~~

Do you have a "five year plan"? I have always looked at life in terms of "five year plans." I ask myself often, where do I see myself (and us) in five years? There haven't been many times when I have seen our lives as drastically different in five years as I do right now. Would you be interested in hearing about my "five year plan"?

~~7~~

And then, of course, there's faith. I talked about my faith journey in #4, but this is a different spin. I've mentioned my busy life, I've mentioned how my faith has changed in recent years... what I haven't touched much on is how I live my faith in the present, amongst the busy-ness. Would you like to read more about the elements of faith I really enjoy and find easy to incorporate into my life, and the things I struggle with most on a daily basis?

I don't have any comments yet (since this isn't even posted!) but I'd just like to say THANK YOU to everyone who is reading this, and to everyone who replies and gives me a little help along the way. 

And as a reward for reading this far, here's an adorable baby panda...
for no other reason than because it's so cuuuuute!

I have a "thing" (or two), do you?

Have you ever been talking to someone and they're like, "Oh, you have a thing for ______! I have a question for you...." In this case thing=obsession. I've heard it before and I heard it again this morning. It always makes me laugh.

I guess some people classify me as having the following "things":

Car seats -- Yup, you could say I have a "thing" for them. I'm not sure I've gotten to the level of some I know (who have one or two children and a collection of ten or more seats), but I am very well-educated on car seat safety, I educate anyone who will listen about them, I keep up on the latest products and trends, and some day I dream of becoming a certified Child Passenger Safety Technician.

Cloth diapers--Some would debate that since we use disposable diapers on occasion (as we did on our most recent vacation), that my passion for cloth diapers can't be THAT strong. But it is. I understand and value all the reasons that people cloth diaper--cost-effectiveness, environmental, cuteness factor, etc. I love to talk about how we use cloth, why we use cloth, and the challenges and struggles we have faced along the way.

Grammar--Well, duh. It's what I do full-time as my day job. I should HOPE I have a "thing" for grammar! (Otherwise, they've hired the wrong girl!)

Baby gear thing--I guess you could add that alongside the car seat and cloth diaper "things." I know a lot about baby gear. A LOT. That's probably because I'm a researcher by nature and have researched the heck out of baby-related items, both when pregnant with Bebe and again with Dois (and WOW, did things change in the 6 years between having them!).

Funny... just looking at these "things" it made me think maybe I have a series I could create... "Thing Thursday" haha! Where each Thursday I focus on one of my "things" I am passionate about. Hmmm....
I'm sure I have more, once I think of them...

So tell me, what are YOUR "things"??

Dear Head and Heart, PLEASE get on the same page!

I posted about a month ago about how confused I was feeling regarding Dois' daycare situation. I decided to "sit on it" and observe the situation (since he was in no immediate danger), think about it/pray about it... We didn't want to rush into anything, and we still don't want to.

D and I were scheduled to see two preschool programs this Thursday afternoon. I say "were" because about an hour ago, D found out he has a mandatory meeting on Thursday afternoon, so our plans have changed. We proposed visiting on Friday afternoon instead, but that doesn't work for one of the two programs. Perhaps this is a sign?

But here's the thing: even without seeing the other places, I'm still feeling so very confused. Case in point: Yesterday when I picked Dois up, I snuck into the backyard quietly and experienced such a sweet moment. Dois and one of his daycare providers were sitting side-by-side singing songs and doing the motions to them. It was such a "connection" moment--it really touched my heart. Witnessing that made my head scream, "See! THIS is what you want for your child! Look at the attention! Look at the love and the care!" Then came this morning, when I dropped him off. I commented to his providers how in the car this morning he was babbling and then all of the sudden he would interrupt himself with a, "Shhhh!" I thought it was so cute. They said the reason why he does that is because they Shh! him sometimes (which is fine to me), and that now HE does it to other kids who are talking when they're watching TV because "we tell him that if someone's talking, we can't hear the TV." (This is not fine to me.)

Finding a daycare that fit all of our needs was incredibly hard. We asked about TV and they told us sometimes they turned it on during afternoon snack as the day was winding down, which we were OK with. But lately we've been catching wind of more TV usage than that. They currently care for 6 children and they are 2 adult women--I just can not fathom why they need the TV on at all besides to give themselves "a break." At a center, though, they wouldn't do that... but at a center, he also wouldn't get the individual attention we desperately want.

I feel stuck between a rock and a hard place. My head and my heart aren't on the same page at all. :(

Some questions for you blog readers...

Okay, now that I know I have some readers and followers, some questions keep coming to mind. My blog, as of right now, is pretty "private." You know that I'm a mother of two kids, a boy and a girl, you know I am married and work full-time (maybe somewhere in there I mentioned my job as well). You know my first name, but you don't know the first names of my husband or my children. You don't know my location... Basically, I'm trying to be "out there" without being "out there."

Do you find yourself drawn to blogs where people are more real? Meaning, you know their name, their location, you see many pictures of them and their surroundings (friends, family, favorite places to go, etc.)? Do you think it's possible for a blogger to be "anonymous" and still be relatable? Or in the anonymity is something lost?


I feel like in my quest to remain anonymous, I am not opening myself up to who I truly am. I'm letting in little peeks and glimpses, but not as much as I could if I were just entirely "out there." At the same time, I'm just not sure how I feel about plastering my children's names and faces, our family triumphs and struggles, etc. out there in cyberspace for all to see.

I'd love any thoughts at all that you might have on this topic... It's one I've thought about a lot lately.

What weekend?

It's Monday again. The weekend is over, and once again I find myself saying, "What weekend?"

Friday night I abandoned work and gathered up the kiddos to see a movie in the park with some friends. When we got there, we found out that the much-anticipated (by me) movie, Hook, was not being shown. Instead, they were showing The Smurfs. At least Bebe was thrilled. (I didn't mind, but we have seen The Smurfs many times.)

Saturday was... Saturday. Chores in the morning with Dois underfoot, Bebe was off to gymnastics, and then there were more chores to follow. D wound up taking the night off, which was nice. We went to Mass at night (what a difference, especially for Dois! He spent the entire Mass coloring quietly), then went out to dinner and hit the mall for a bit of walking/play time (our mall has a cool play area where you can pay for bigger kids to play--it has obstacle courses, jolly jumps, etc.).

Yesterday we lost the entire day. I kid you not. At 5pm I was still in my PJs when we decided to go to the swimming pool. We (well, D and I) worked ALL. DAY. LONG. While Dois wanted to go here, there, and everywhere ALL. DAY. LONG. And Bebe whined and complained ALL. DAY. LONG. because her friends weren't home and she was boooooored.

We have too much stuff. You should SEE the heap of items that we have sorted out to be photographed and posted on Craigslist, and the other heap to be donated. And all we can do is ask ourselves, "How did it get so bad?" I can tell you... we're impulsive shoppers. And we need to stop that.

It's Monday, I'm back at work with a FULL plate, and I don't feel like I relaxed at all this weekend.

I wish we could figure out something better so we didn't work all weekend. It's not fair to us OR the kids.

7 Quick Takes -- August 17th

 

Once again, THANK YOU to ConversionDiary for hosting this installment of 7 Quick Takes!

~~1~~

Yesterday when I was driving home from work, I suddenly had an idea for a novel. I "developed" it in my brain all evening long, and jotted some notes on it last night. I've never felt so energetic about an idea. It seems to have a  lot of potential! NaNoWriMo, here I come! Maybe the 5th year is the charm, and I'll actually "win"!

~~2~~

Tonight after work, I'm meeting up with a former coworker and her family, as well as another coworker and her dad, and we're going to a "movie in the park." The movie for tonight is one of my all-time favorites: HOOK! I am so excited to introduce Bebe to it--I just know she will love it!

~~3~~

Sour Patch Watermelons make the world so much better. I am allergic to everything under the sun, it seems (well, OK, not EVERYTHING, but peanuts, tree nuts, shellfish, seafood, wheat, eggs, milk, soy, and all RAW fruits and vegetables), plus I avoid all HFCS. I try to avoid artificial colors as much as possible, but every now and then, I just have to cave. Yesterday, I caved. They were soooo good.

~~4~~

Last night I packed up a HUGE box of Bebe's old clothes to send to my niece. Besides the fact that I was shocked at how much we had that was still in good condition (Bebe is TOUGH on clothes), I found myself so sad to be parting with some of it. The dress she wore when she came to see me at the hospital and meet Dois was in there. The jumper she wore for the Christmas concert at church that same year is in there. I was surprised how sentimental I felt about quite a few pieces of clothing--but I think it's because they were things she wore during a year that was so monumental to us as a family.

~~5~~

I've recently re-discovered journaling as a form of prayer, and I am loving it. It's only been a little over a month, but I really enjoy taking the time before bed every night to jot down some thoughts and prayers before falling asleep.

~~6~~

We are going to be pet owners soon. I promised Bebe a fish as a reward for excellent grades at the end of the school year. I delayed buying her a Betta until after our vacation, but now that vacation is over, I need to follow through on my promise. Let's hope it lives more than a day.

~~7~~

(This one's a biggie.) Tomorrow I am going to Confession. For the first time in 6+ years. (I say 6+ because I went 6 years ago, but that was one of those parish-wide things where you wrote down your sins and dropped them in a basket and it was general absolution... it didn't feel the same.) I'm scared as all get-out but I know it needs to be done. Pray for me, please, as I prepare... and as I go.

Focus

Today I'm participating in the Mommy Brain Mixer from two-in-diapers.
Click the image below to head over there and see what it's all about!


Last night during Mass for the Feast of the Assumption, I knew from the beginning things were going to be challenging. I was flying solo, Bebe had a half of a chocolate cupcake an hour before Mass, and Dois's bedtime fell at the exact hour of Mass.

I love Bebe more than anything in the world, but she's "quirky." And one thing she does that can easily get on my nerves (ESPECIALLY at Mass) is that she never.stops.moving. Usually D runs interference. During Mass we sit like this: Bebe--D--me--Dois. I focus on Dois and D tries to keep Bebe still. But with the absence of D, things were going to be more challenging.

At one point I caught her flapping pages of her Magnifikid in the sunlight streaming through a red window across from us. I pulled her close and gave her a shoulder-squeeze hug in order to "bring her back." She started twirling her hair and kicking one foot during the second reading, and I was having a hard time keeping my cool.

Somewhere around the Prayer of the Faithful, Dois was chillin' in his stroller eating raisins and I was attempting to listen--with my eyes closed to keep my focus on prayer and off of Bebe--when she leans over and whispers to me, "Mom, why are your eyes closed?" "Because I'm praying." "Oh, okay, when are you going to open them?" "I don't know. Shh." A few minutes later I opened my eyes, only to see Bebe standing next to me doing a very obvious "I have to pee NOW" dance. "Do you have to go pee?" I asked her. "Yes!" she said with such an urge and relief. "Why didn't you tell me?" "Because you were praying!" And then she dashed off to the restroom as quickly as possible with me standing there thinking, "oops."

"Me time"

Tuesday nights are special. They're "me time" nights.

What is a "me time" night, you ask?

Well, once upon a time when it was just D, Bebe, and I, we were living a chaotic life. (OK who am I kidding, we STILL live a chaotic life!!) D was working full-time (3 lunch shifts, 4 dinner shifts/week) and going to school full-time (12 credit hours). I was with Bebe all day/night (I had jobs where I could bring her with me). When D got home, I wanted A BREAK. The problem was, when D got home, HE wanted A BREAK. I wanted a break from Bebe, he wanted a break from having to be "on"... and it resulted in a lot of arguments. Not our best moments, for sure. He would go out for coffee after a night shift and I'd be jealous and resentful. "Oh I wish I could just go out for a coffee and relax when I wanted to." (Despite the fact that I don't drink coffee.) But the moments when I "got out", my phone would ring constantly, or I'd come home to D in a growling mess because he wanted to read the newspaper or watch a soccer game but Bebe was whining and wouldn't let him.

Finally, somewhere along the way, we got smart. Sadly, it was like 3 years into this lifestyle before we did so. With D being gone all day (by then he'd moved on to going to university full-time) and working 4 night shifts/week, I recognized that he needed a break--"me time" to do whatever he wanted. And by that time I was working full-time at a new job and Bebe was in daycare... and he realized that I needed some "me time" besides being at work all day long and then being with Bebe all night (who still stayed up until 10 or 11pm).

So we assigned "me time." On Tuesday night, I get a "night off." On Thursday night, he gets a "night off." On our nights off, we have NO obligations whatsoever--just time to relax and do as we please. A typical Thursday night for D is either going to play a pick-up game of soccer and hit the gym or choir rehearsal at church followed by a trip to the bookstore.

My "me time"? Well, that's another story...

See, when I have "me time" I don't really DO anything specific. There was a time when I took an 8-week writing class. But usually, I do think that are just easier to do sans-kids. Like grocery shop. Occasionally I go see a movie at the $3 theater that I wanted to see. Many nights, though, I find myself wandering aimlessly.

I feel like there are so many times where I'm like, "If only I could go away and do XYZ!" and then when my "night off" comes around I can't think of a thing to do. And then I find myself wandering around Target, and we all know how that goes... Haha.

So if you had 3-5 hours to yourself, what would YOU do?

(And I am curious--what do others think about this concept/arrangement? It means that we only have Sat days and Sunday all day together as a family instead of Tues and Thurs nights plus Sat days and Sunday.)

A night filled with prayer.

I've been thinking about prayer a lot lately.

Growing up, my experiences with prayer were:
1) Saying, "Bless this food O Lord and these thy gifts which we are about to receive from thy bounty through Christ our Lord, Amen." as quickly as possible before digging into dinner.
2) Going to my grandparents' house when they were in the middle of saying the Rosary (they said it at a certain time every day--3pm?). We would sit quietly and listen. I can still hear their voices in my head to this day. My grandmother would speak slowly and quietly, "Hail Mary, full of grace, the Lord is with thee. Blessed are thou among women, and blessed is the fruit of thy womb, Jesus." Then my grandfather's voice would gush in, "HolyMarymotherofGodprayforussinnersnowandatthehourofourdeath, Amen!"
3) My dad would pray the Rosary, too. We never saw him hold a Rosary, but we'd see his lips moving in prayer.

I didn't really have many experiences with personal prayer. Rote prayers were what I was exposed to most, but they didn't really mean much to me. I felt like I was reciting something that I didn't feel.

When I was in high school I spent a week at something called Christian Leadership Institute. During that week we spent a whole day focused on different types of prayer--not just the rote prayers! Prayers of intercession, praying through music, meditation on Scripture, reading the Bible. I remember thinking, Wow! There's a whole other world of prayer out there!

Journaling is my absolute favorite form of prayer. In fact, about 2 months ago I started keeping a "prayer journal" again, and that has been the driving force behind this renewed enthusiasm for my faith.

One thing I've really struggled with, though, is sharing prayer with Bebe and Dois. D is a very private person with prayer--he says the Rosary and reads the Bible nightly, but the kids are in bed and don't witness that. He prays in the morning, too, but well before they're awake. When he's home, we do say grace before meals, but when it's just me and the kids I usually forget.

I feel very rushed at night. We walk in the door at 6pm and Dois starts whining right away because he's hungry. It's a mad dash to get dinner cooked, get the kids fed, get him ready for bed... he's usually crashed out by 7:30pm. It feels SO chaotic. And once he's asleep my mind focuses on chores and all that needs to be done, so I occupy myself with those things until it's time for Bebe to go to bed. Then I rush, rush, rush her to get to sleep so I can go back to the chores. It feels chaotic and awful, and I feel like I don't get time to spend with the kids...

Tonight I tried something different, though. I tried to let it all go, go with the flow, and intentionally include prayer where I could. Dois begged for dinner, so I settled him in while I made Bebe a grilled cheese. When her dinner was ready and mine was warmed up, I put Dois down to play and Bebe and I sat down together to eat (this is rare). I asked her if she wanted to say grace and she said no, so I said grace for us, and we talked about her day at camp. Dinner was barely over when Dois was begging for bed (earlier than usual!), so I walked him upstairs. As I laid him in the crib and changed his diaper, I sang to him. I made up my own tune to the Our Father--it was pretty good!

I went about my chores until 7:30pm when I called Bebe to me. I told her I wanted to try something new. We sat down with her Rosary and mine and we prayed one decade together. It's a beginning! She seemed to like it as we went prayer by prayer. It made me sad, though, that she still doesn't know the Hail Mary by heart. She will soon, though! I asked her who she wanted to offer up our prayers for and she said D's father, who passed away when I was pregnant with her.

All in all it was a good experience. It felt nice. I didn't feel rushed tonight, I got everything done that I wanted to, and I managed to pray with both of my children. God is good! (All the time!)

Do-over

I've thought a lot more about this blog and the direction I want it to go in.

In the last month or two I've felt a renewed sense of energy toward "rediscovering" my Catholic faith. As a "cradle Catholic" I guess you could say I never lost it, but after college, I had a hard time holding onto it. As life got busier, my faith got shallower, you could say.

It's taken a lot of focus and determination in the last two months for me to rebuild in some ways what was "lost" for so long. Fitting in prayer, reducing certain negative influences, making time to witness, etc. hasn't been easy in what was an already-busy life.

I think this blog will be a great way for me to cover this new direction in my life. Well, maybe not new direction, but a new perspective?